WoodNettle of Bloom
May. 21st, 2019 08:38 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ismoTrying to take it easy today. However, I had a previously-made lunch date with the Former Student. We have lunch every now and then, and he had been in touch to ask about Mother. When I asked what he was busy with now, he said he was preparing for the conference on PTSD that he organizes yearly as a service to veterans. He has a son who came home from Iraq with PTSD. He was reading "The Body Keeps the Score," by Bessel van der Kolk, one of the foremost students of trauma. I'm familiar with it. It's a pretty intense book. This sparked a conversation that wasn't exactly what I'd been expecting, and was also pretty intense. Apparently the Former Student and I are bonded in being children of PTSD. It's kind of a double whammy because both of our fathers, we think, came home from the Pacific theater in WWII with PTSD. And now we have it because of their behavior. For the FS, I guess it's a triple whammy because his son has the same problems, though from a different source.
It was helpful, in a way, because it reminded me that my sibs are acting the way they are because of their own unresolved issues. It doesn't excuse everything they do, but it helps me remember that it's not about me. I know this, of course, but spending so much time with them in crisis mode tends to wear me down. It's extremely important not to let my own demons start running the ship.
After that, I was just beat. A part of me wanted to take a walk, but the other part was like naaaah. I did some laundry and washed out some hand washable shirts. I chatted with a friend, and headed off a potential conflict with the sibs. Now we're going to watch some Studio Ghibli and eat ice cream.
It was helpful, in a way, because it reminded me that my sibs are acting the way they are because of their own unresolved issues. It doesn't excuse everything they do, but it helps me remember that it's not about me. I know this, of course, but spending so much time with them in crisis mode tends to wear me down. It's extremely important not to let my own demons start running the ship.
After that, I was just beat. A part of me wanted to take a walk, but the other part was like naaaah. I did some laundry and washed out some hand washable shirts. I chatted with a friend, and headed off a potential conflict with the sibs. Now we're going to watch some Studio Ghibli and eat ice cream.
