Rattlesnake of Simmer
Jul. 19th, 2020 10:18 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ismoProbably the nicest thing about today was waking up at seven and being perturbed because the promised rain hadn't come, and then hearing the wind announce its arrival just a few minutes later. There was a gentle grumbling and rumbling of thunder, and several waves of rainfall. The temperature dropped back into the 80s--very welcome. It was a good reason not to go out in the yard today, but I didn't do any of the jobs inside that I'd thought of. I was grumpy and sleepy. The Sparrowhawk took a shower, and something about that process caused water to go through the ceiling and into the downstairs bathroom just below. This is a problem. I felt that low-level twist of frustration and panic because I don't know what's wrong. I hate it when you have to trust the people who come to fix things, and have no way to know if they're right or not. Also, under current circumstances, I'm not even sure how to go about finding someone to investigate. Not a good start to the day.
I'm discouraged by my garden. I heard about my friends' gardens last night. They're all better than mine. I've wanted two things ever since I started gardening: 1) not clay soil and 2) no deer. I've lived in four states, and no matter where I go, it's CLAY. I compost, I dig, I mulch--to no avail. And now the deer will eat everything that I grow. Also, I found a clump of what I think is poison ivy. The Sparrowhawk apparently threw out the Roundup because it was poison. While he's quite right to abhor Roundup, I need it to kill the poison ivy because nothing else works and that stuff is evil and needs to DIE DIE DIE and every minute that I don't kill it is another minute that it's GROWING. Also, my FitBit stopped syncing and I had to fiddle with it for a long time. This makes me mad because I paid for it and now I have to fix it myself. These are not serious problems, but they add extra malaise to the general feelings of doom. I started thinking about all the other bad things that COULD happen. Bad idea.
Another nice thing was a lovely FaceTime with Tron, featuring a cameo appearance by the Lumberjack. It was so nice to see them. My kids always make me want to be a better person. I'm inspired by all their wonderful qualities. So hard-working! So intelligent and creative! So kind! I wish I were a better person, and that I could somehow be of more help to them.
I'm discouraged by my garden. I heard about my friends' gardens last night. They're all better than mine. I've wanted two things ever since I started gardening: 1) not clay soil and 2) no deer. I've lived in four states, and no matter where I go, it's CLAY. I compost, I dig, I mulch--to no avail. And now the deer will eat everything that I grow. Also, I found a clump of what I think is poison ivy. The Sparrowhawk apparently threw out the Roundup because it was poison. While he's quite right to abhor Roundup, I need it to kill the poison ivy because nothing else works and that stuff is evil and needs to DIE DIE DIE and every minute that I don't kill it is another minute that it's GROWING. Also, my FitBit stopped syncing and I had to fiddle with it for a long time. This makes me mad because I paid for it and now I have to fix it myself. These are not serious problems, but they add extra malaise to the general feelings of doom. I started thinking about all the other bad things that COULD happen. Bad idea.
Another nice thing was a lovely FaceTime with Tron, featuring a cameo appearance by the Lumberjack. It was so nice to see them. My kids always make me want to be a better person. I'm inspired by all their wonderful qualities. So hard-working! So intelligent and creative! So kind! I wish I were a better person, and that I could somehow be of more help to them.
