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Goshawks of Leave
Sep. 25th, 2018 10:12 pmI can't figure out if the current round of feeling like crap is due to the Wellbutrin, or is just the same old same old. I've only been taking it for three days. I can't say I feel a lot less depressed. In a way, I suppose I do, because I feel kind of stupid and as if I don't give a fuck about anything. Except that I'm still fully capable of ranting at some length about things I despise. I did this while texting a friend, and then said I hoped this wasn't incipient mania (one of the possible side effects). They replied reassuringly, "Oh, don't worry. You always talk like this." My stomach is unhappy, yet when I see a thing that can be popped into one's mouth, I pop it apparently without thinking twice. I haven't been for a walk in two days, due to the aforesaid lack of available fucks. Anyway, if this is supposed to make me feel energetic and cheerful, it isn't working. But I said I'd give it two weeks. I don't know if I can put up with it that long. I may have to run home to the devil I know before then. Mania sounds so attractive, even though I know it has its own problems. But from where I sit, it would be a nice change.
I got a haircut today, and enjoyed chatting with my stylist. She took my mind off my troubles by telling me the story of a wedding she attended on Beaver Island. She had been brought in to do the hair, but things went sideways in a fairly big way. Starting with the fact that it was the day that there was a high wind and the waves were 12 feet high. My stylist wisely got on a small plane flight instead of the ferry. Some of the invited guests couldn't come to the welcome party because they were still too sick to get out of bed after the ferry ride. In return I told her about my visit to the doctor, and how I told the doc I don't give a fuck. She got a big laugh out of that one and said she wanted to make me a t-shirt.
I was exchanging email with the Nipper and asked what happened to Gonzo. I was hoping he'd died peacefully in his sleep. But, as I had guessed, it's a sadder and more complicated story than that, and I felt so sorry for the Nipper. He is feeling pretty bad. The Nipper remarked that it has been a difficult summer, and I guess it has. I hope the coming season will be better.
I got a haircut today, and enjoyed chatting with my stylist. She took my mind off my troubles by telling me the story of a wedding she attended on Beaver Island. She had been brought in to do the hair, but things went sideways in a fairly big way. Starting with the fact that it was the day that there was a high wind and the waves were 12 feet high. My stylist wisely got on a small plane flight instead of the ferry. Some of the invited guests couldn't come to the welcome party because they were still too sick to get out of bed after the ferry ride. In return I told her about my visit to the doctor, and how I told the doc I don't give a fuck. She got a big laugh out of that one and said she wanted to make me a t-shirt.
I was exchanging email with the Nipper and asked what happened to Gonzo. I was hoping he'd died peacefully in his sleep. But, as I had guessed, it's a sadder and more complicated story than that, and I felt so sorry for the Nipper. He is feeling pretty bad. The Nipper remarked that it has been a difficult summer, and I guess it has. I hope the coming season will be better.
