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Dahlia of Bliss
Apr. 20th, 2019 08:18 pmSo I woke up at 4-ish this morning and lay awake until I was no longer able to tolerate the sole companionship of my own thoughts. At that point, I got up. I so admire some of my artist friends, who spend their insomniac hours Getting Art Done. I always think that I should do that too, but it takes so long to get my brain gears engaged with things in the outside world. They spin morosely around the interior of my head for a long time first, as I sit on the couch "watching" early morning news. (Not any better than the kind you get at a more normal hour, alas. There should be some kind of special dream-bedewed fairy cobweb predawn news that would be all tales of wonder and hope. But there isn't. Not on my cable service, anyway.)
I finally pulled myself together and set out to make hot cross buns, very quietly so as not to wake up the Sparrowhawk. As I was putting my apron on over my pjs, I swear I heard a rooster crow. There is a place just across the busy street at the edge of the neighborhood where they decided they were going to keep chickens last year. It would be nice if they had survived the winter. The full moon was still shining brightly in the western sky as the dawn came up in the east. By the time I set the dough out to rise, the Sparrowhawk was up, and I had a cup of tea with him. Then I tried to go back to bed. I slept for an hour or so, for a grand total of five hours, and was then awakened by a text from the Duchess. Mother fell out of her chair again. They x-rayed her again and found no breakages. They had her under observation, and said she was pretty much the same as usual. I'd like to say I was sleepless due to a premonition. But since I worry all the time, it is a given that if she falls, it will be during a time when I was worried.
Since I was up anyway, I finished making and baking the buns, and then we went on quite a long walk, past our normal little woodsy trail, over to the Catholic college campus. They have a jogging trail in the woods too, and a strange little rundown garden with a lily pond, where we sat in the sun for a few minutes. The woods are thickly carpeted with blue scylla now, and bluebells and bloodroot are starting to sprout. I de-tagged the clothes I bought my mother, and did my best to mark them with her name. I really wanted to make some raisin bread, too, but it will have to wait for another day. I am going to fall asleep any minute now. I have to sleep so I can get up in good time and drive to my mother's for Easter dinner.
I finally pulled myself together and set out to make hot cross buns, very quietly so as not to wake up the Sparrowhawk. As I was putting my apron on over my pjs, I swear I heard a rooster crow. There is a place just across the busy street at the edge of the neighborhood where they decided they were going to keep chickens last year. It would be nice if they had survived the winter. The full moon was still shining brightly in the western sky as the dawn came up in the east. By the time I set the dough out to rise, the Sparrowhawk was up, and I had a cup of tea with him. Then I tried to go back to bed. I slept for an hour or so, for a grand total of five hours, and was then awakened by a text from the Duchess. Mother fell out of her chair again. They x-rayed her again and found no breakages. They had her under observation, and said she was pretty much the same as usual. I'd like to say I was sleepless due to a premonition. But since I worry all the time, it is a given that if she falls, it will be during a time when I was worried.
Since I was up anyway, I finished making and baking the buns, and then we went on quite a long walk, past our normal little woodsy trail, over to the Catholic college campus. They have a jogging trail in the woods too, and a strange little rundown garden with a lily pond, where we sat in the sun for a few minutes. The woods are thickly carpeted with blue scylla now, and bluebells and bloodroot are starting to sprout. I de-tagged the clothes I bought my mother, and did my best to mark them with her name. I really wanted to make some raisin bread, too, but it will have to wait for another day. I am going to fall asleep any minute now. I have to sleep so I can get up in good time and drive to my mother's for Easter dinner.
