LopSeed of Bloom

I was a ruined and terrible form of life today. I woke up at 3 am after a bad dream in which I had done something that was going to get me into big trouble, and I was agonizing over whether I should just confess before it got worse, or go on trying to escape, an effort that would almost certainly fail. When I woke up, I couldn't shake that feeling of doom. And then I started coughing and was too miserable to remain horizontal. Even after I crawled back into bed some time later, I couldn't go back to sleep for a long time. I had my weekly conversation with Queenie. I worked on moving a few things back into place after last night's extravaganza. A friend came by and retrieved a pint of potato salad. I was reduced to such a sad state that I actually tried to make an appointment with Urgent Care to have someone examine my throat and tell me if there's anything actually wrong. First of all, my health portal appeared to have forgotten me. The Sparrowhawk figured out how to get me logged on again. Then I discovered that they've changed their appointment protocol so I couldn't sign up for anything. I'll have to try again tomorrow. Another friend texted me to express enthusiasm for getting together, and kindly offering to help with anything I need. Alas, what I need is a) time, and b) not to feel like crap. I felt so ill and incapable that it was a major effort to text her back apologetically, express appreciation for the offer, and tell her I'd have to get back to her. Eventually I took a fitful and unsatisfactory nap and woke up feeling as if I had been run over.

The Sparrowhawk is happily eating potato salad for every meal. No, my mistake--not for breakfast. For breakfast, he ate a hot dog, half a piece of peanut butter toast, a clementine, and half a doughnut. All the food groups, right? Except maybe chocolate. I feel I am falling down on my job of providing healthy food. There was nothing to stop him from also eating steamed vegetables and sliced tomatoes, which were also available, but I was too weak to suggest it. We got around to watching Murderbot. Melt me down now. I couldn't agree more.