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Rowan of Flourish
Sep. 17th, 2025 07:17 pmI had a strange little experience this morning. I woke up early, and thought the Sparrowhawk was still asleep, so I didn't immediately jump out of bed. I lay there thinking, "Something is odd. Something feels different. What's going on?" I realized that nothing was hurting. Often, I am scourged out of bed by various discomforts that become intolerable and cause me to jump up to move around and distract myself. This morning, I felt luxuriously comfortable. Nothing was wrong for a change, and that's what seemed peculiar! I just lay there, enjoying this unusual bliss for another half hour.
Traces of this pleasant feeling remained through my visit to Madame. It was a beautiful and warm day, like bonus summer. She was looking at her book when I came in, and surprised to see me as usual. But she was happy to go out to the bookstore cafe for lunch. The rental car was, as I suspected, much easier for her to climb into, and the walker still fit in the back. We had some nice sandwiches and coffee: hers, roasted artichoke panini; mine, brie, bacon and pear. I've stopped ordering salads for her since she had her unfortunate episode of choking on a lettuce leaf! She was pretty chill. She is worried because she cannot remember where she lives, and she knows that she can't remember. I told her about six times, every time she asked, and explained she was right across the street from the place where she attended college, which seemed to be reassuring to her. I also wrote down my number and address, and her daughter's number, and her own address. She has little notebooks with all the numbers written down over and over again. The hardest thing is to know your marbles are rolling out of the box and across the floor, but be unable to pick them up and put them back in their place. "I’m afraid, Dave. Dave, my mind is going. I can feel it. I can feel it. My mind is going. There is no question about it. I can feel it." It's hard to watch, too.
But we had a pleasant, easy trip to and from her place. I parked and walked in with her and sat in her room with her for awhile. She said it made her feel better, more as if she belonged somewhere, and people knew where she was. She said "I haven't forgotten you!" Not yet, anyway. And if she does, I won't forget--not yet.
I got home in time for the Sparrowhawk to go to his eye exam. I may not have mentioned that he recently had to get some hearing aids. They seem to work pretty well, although getting them properly fitted has been a big nuisance, requiring several trips. Now the eye doctor says it's time for cataract surgery. SIGH. It's hard when these little problems start piling up on you. The Sparrowhawk decided not to go to the gym tonight. He was already tired out. I also returned to a mini-avalanche of texts about another friend who had to go to the ER with some kind of infection--hopefully not a problem with his recent biopsy site. I just saw the message that he'd been there all afternoon, but they were letting him go home tonight. Any time you can sleep in your own bed, it's good news.
Traces of this pleasant feeling remained through my visit to Madame. It was a beautiful and warm day, like bonus summer. She was looking at her book when I came in, and surprised to see me as usual. But she was happy to go out to the bookstore cafe for lunch. The rental car was, as I suspected, much easier for her to climb into, and the walker still fit in the back. We had some nice sandwiches and coffee: hers, roasted artichoke panini; mine, brie, bacon and pear. I've stopped ordering salads for her since she had her unfortunate episode of choking on a lettuce leaf! She was pretty chill. She is worried because she cannot remember where she lives, and she knows that she can't remember. I told her about six times, every time she asked, and explained she was right across the street from the place where she attended college, which seemed to be reassuring to her. I also wrote down my number and address, and her daughter's number, and her own address. She has little notebooks with all the numbers written down over and over again. The hardest thing is to know your marbles are rolling out of the box and across the floor, but be unable to pick them up and put them back in their place. "I’m afraid, Dave. Dave, my mind is going. I can feel it. I can feel it. My mind is going. There is no question about it. I can feel it." It's hard to watch, too.
But we had a pleasant, easy trip to and from her place. I parked and walked in with her and sat in her room with her for awhile. She said it made her feel better, more as if she belonged somewhere, and people knew where she was. She said "I haven't forgotten you!" Not yet, anyway. And if she does, I won't forget--not yet.
I got home in time for the Sparrowhawk to go to his eye exam. I may not have mentioned that he recently had to get some hearing aids. They seem to work pretty well, although getting them properly fitted has been a big nuisance, requiring several trips. Now the eye doctor says it's time for cataract surgery. SIGH. It's hard when these little problems start piling up on you. The Sparrowhawk decided not to go to the gym tonight. He was already tired out. I also returned to a mini-avalanche of texts about another friend who had to go to the ER with some kind of infection--hopefully not a problem with his recent biopsy site. I just saw the message that he'd been there all afternoon, but they were letting him go home tonight. Any time you can sleep in your own bed, it's good news.
