Albatross of Ember
Nov. 15th, 2023 09:46 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ismoYesterday: finished and mailed out my little cards, went for a quick walk, did a brief shopping for things urgently needed, made an apple crisp (that was why I needed more butter--although on second thought, more butter is always good) and a pan of bratwurst and roasted vegetables. It smelled good in my house. Then I went to an evening gathering with a group of women to celebrate the birthday of one of them. The Sparrowhawk had been tasked with picking up flowers. I described what she liked, and he came through like a champ. She loved them. People gave her amusing calaveras, candles, and a bottle of wine. One friend made an amazing charcuterie board, and another brought apple cake with chocolate chips. We talked about what we liked and admired about her.
We had not seen her for three weeks, so she filled us in on what has been happening. She and her husband have been caring for an elderly priest with dementia ever since covid. He had helped the husband a lot when he was a young student in a strange place. They took him in rather than see him go to a nursing home and perhaps die in isolation from covid. Three weeks ago, he went to the hospital with pneumonia and a UTI. Since then it's been one unfortunate situation after another. When he was briefly released to rehab, they had to staff his room themselves with volunteers, because he basically wasn't getting care. Now he's back in the hospital, while they try to find another long-term care place that will accept both someone with his level of cognition and his insurance. His condition took a nosedive, as old people often do when there's a shock to the system, and Birthday Girl and her husband have realized that they are not able to meet the level of care he needs at home any more. She also has children, grandchildren, and an 89-year-old mother to take care of. For the time being, she goes to the hospital every day to make sure he gets shaved, washed up, and has his teeth brushed, and then spends some time with him so he doesn't freak out. I'm afraid this was more personally disturbing to me than it should have been. I kinda had flashbacks. This kind of thing is traumatic. So, although I enjoyed visiting with her, I didn't sleep too well.
Today was Madame Day--more of the same! I was honestly dreading it, because she was so distraught and angry last time I saw her. But it actually turned out much better than I expected. Madame seemed surprised to see me. I think she forgot what day it was. But she was very happy to go out, and enjoyed coffee and her favorite salad. She claims they don't have adequate salads at her new place. She's still mad about her car and determined not to stay where she is, and she still thinks people are conspiring against her, but her indignation has been tempered a little bit by realizing that she isn't really sure how to get out of this predicament. She has gotten to the point where she can't remember how to use her phone. I showed her how to go to Contacts and find all the numbers, but I'm sure she's forgotten again by now. I could see she was getting tired by the end of our time together, and I can see a time coming when it will be better for her if I just come and visit and don't try to drive her around. But as long as she still enjoys it, I'm willing to do it. It was still a beautiful day when I got home, but I was tired.
We had not seen her for three weeks, so she filled us in on what has been happening. She and her husband have been caring for an elderly priest with dementia ever since covid. He had helped the husband a lot when he was a young student in a strange place. They took him in rather than see him go to a nursing home and perhaps die in isolation from covid. Three weeks ago, he went to the hospital with pneumonia and a UTI. Since then it's been one unfortunate situation after another. When he was briefly released to rehab, they had to staff his room themselves with volunteers, because he basically wasn't getting care. Now he's back in the hospital, while they try to find another long-term care place that will accept both someone with his level of cognition and his insurance. His condition took a nosedive, as old people often do when there's a shock to the system, and Birthday Girl and her husband have realized that they are not able to meet the level of care he needs at home any more. She also has children, grandchildren, and an 89-year-old mother to take care of. For the time being, she goes to the hospital every day to make sure he gets shaved, washed up, and has his teeth brushed, and then spends some time with him so he doesn't freak out. I'm afraid this was more personally disturbing to me than it should have been. I kinda had flashbacks. This kind of thing is traumatic. So, although I enjoyed visiting with her, I didn't sleep too well.
Today was Madame Day--more of the same! I was honestly dreading it, because she was so distraught and angry last time I saw her. But it actually turned out much better than I expected. Madame seemed surprised to see me. I think she forgot what day it was. But she was very happy to go out, and enjoyed coffee and her favorite salad. She claims they don't have adequate salads at her new place. She's still mad about her car and determined not to stay where she is, and she still thinks people are conspiring against her, but her indignation has been tempered a little bit by realizing that she isn't really sure how to get out of this predicament. She has gotten to the point where she can't remember how to use her phone. I showed her how to go to Contacts and find all the numbers, but I'm sure she's forgotten again by now. I could see she was getting tired by the end of our time together, and I can see a time coming when it will be better for her if I just come and visit and don't try to drive her around. But as long as she still enjoys it, I'm willing to do it. It was still a beautiful day when I got home, but I was tired.
