Violet of Trill

[ismo]

Memento Mori Day. This time Madame was ready to go when I arrived, you betcha! Very much like last week, little bits of frozen white blew across our path as we drove to the bookstore. This time, she remembered her checkbook, although it is quite difficult for her to write out the numbers, and she told the counter person to fill in the name of the cafe, which she cannot recall. We had to talk about her car and her house again, but she sounded more plaintive than indignant this time. She needs to get another driver's license, but is not sure how to go about it. She also needs to find people--students from a local college, perhaps--to live in her house with her so she will not be alone. She says this every week, but can't remember how to accomplish these things. On one of our recent trips, she bought a little notebook to write things down so she'll remember to do them. I think it has joined the little stack of notebooks and pieces of paper on her couch, where she tries to write things down and then forgets where she wrote them. My mother had a stack just like that. It is really kind of heartrending. Well, why qualify it, as a good editor would say. It IS heartrending. I qualify it because I can't afford to give way to those feelings, as there are too many of them. I'd like to help, but I can't return her to the person she was when she could have done those things. She doesn't think her daughter comes to see her. I hope, and mostly believe, that this is not true and that she has just forgotten the visits. My sister and I say to each other mournfully that we hope we'll know when it's time to let go of certain things. The tragedy of the situation is that people very seldom do know. Perhaps it's better to go down fighting, but it does make things harder for the bystanders.

Comments

[elbales]

You're a good friend to Madame. It's so hard to watch people we care about decline.

i feel this

[siriosa]

in my bones.
you are doing important, necessary work.
{{{{ismo}}}}

[oracne]

This sounds so, so hard.