PalmWarbler of Bluster
Feb. 12th, 2020 09:50 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ismoI feel I'm being kind of boring and not having accomplishments, so not much to say. This morning, surprise! I came downstairs and opened the shades, and there was the waning but still plump moon staring serenely back at me out of a distinctly blue sky. I had to just stand there for awhile and gaze. It's such an unusual sight. There was sunshine for a few blessed minutes. Then it all clouded up again and by nightfall, the sky was its normal dark grey.
I went for a walk before the light was completely gone. There was little news on the woods path--just the usual bird-chirping and tracks. I did notice that they've finally started on the job of cutting up and carting away the giant fallen willow tree. There are tire tracks, sawdust, and a jumble of severed log sections down by the creek.
The Sparrowhawk had a checkup with his neurologist, who says he's doing well and has a very slow progression. This is good news in itself, and also because the neurologist says that people who start out with slow progression usually continue that way.
Queenie had a bad tooth pulled yesterday, after it developed an abscess. So I called her this morning to see how she is doing. I was happy to hear that she's recovering well, although the sedation made her sleepy, and she's still napping a lot. We found out that we're both missing Mother a lot for some reason. Every time I think I'm over it, I start thinking again of my parents' final days and wishing I had done more, or better, or something. I miss all the small things I used to do for them. I just miss them. It's good to talk to someone who feels the same. Queenie found a trolley token from Washington DC in the box with Mother's baby ring. Mother must have saved it from one of the happiest times in her life--when she and her sister were working in DC during the war, young and brave and loving their freedom. Queenie put it on a chain so she can wear it.
I went for a walk before the light was completely gone. There was little news on the woods path--just the usual bird-chirping and tracks. I did notice that they've finally started on the job of cutting up and carting away the giant fallen willow tree. There are tire tracks, sawdust, and a jumble of severed log sections down by the creek.
The Sparrowhawk had a checkup with his neurologist, who says he's doing well and has a very slow progression. This is good news in itself, and also because the neurologist says that people who start out with slow progression usually continue that way.
Queenie had a bad tooth pulled yesterday, after it developed an abscess. So I called her this morning to see how she is doing. I was happy to hear that she's recovering well, although the sedation made her sleepy, and she's still napping a lot. We found out that we're both missing Mother a lot for some reason. Every time I think I'm over it, I start thinking again of my parents' final days and wishing I had done more, or better, or something. I miss all the small things I used to do for them. I just miss them. It's good to talk to someone who feels the same. Queenie found a trolley token from Washington DC in the box with Mother's baby ring. Mother must have saved it from one of the happiest times in her life--when she and her sister were working in DC during the war, young and brave and loving their freedom. Queenie put it on a chain so she can wear it.
jeremy bearimy
Date: 2020-02-13 08:23 am (UTC)and it takes as long as it takes.
i stand with you in your grief.
no subject
Date: 2020-02-13 01:26 pm (UTC)As for grief, the things we didn't do are usually the worst for me, because you can't do anything about it now. But you could focus on the things you did do, and you did a lot, I know that because you wrote about the things you brought to your parents and the things you did for them. Feeling as if you didn't do enough is natural, but I don't think that's true. I think you did more than enough.