ElmTree of Bliss

I haven't had the energy to put together a post in the last three days, but I'm home now and ready to give it a try. Sunday at noon, we were just sitting down to the Board of Trustees meeting and potluck, when I got a call from the Duchess. The long-term care place had called her because Mother's oxygen levels were dropping and they thought she was having heart problems. They wanted to send her to the hospital, which we've told them we don't want. The Duchess was on the way there, and we immediately followed, as soon as we could pack a bag in case we had to stay overnight. ( Read more... )

ElmTree part 2 of Bliss

If you thought my next post would be surely be more cheerful, prepare yourself for disappointment. I know I did, and I am disappointed. I have been greatly occupied with matters concerning my mother's care all day--phone calls, texting, and examining legal papers. I have determined that my signature placing Mother in hospice is invalid for a couple of reasons, and should have been recognized as such by me, but certainly by the medical staff. It also appears that the main reason Mother is eligible for hospice is dementia, but it is still true that she has never been officially diagnosed with dementia. I mention this again and again, yet nothing is done about it.

In addition, the Duchess had a visit in Mother's room from the hospice nurse, who supposedly came to spend time with Mother and create a care plan. We had expressed our united desire that Mother not receive morphine until a time came when it was clearly necessary for comfort. It appeared from today's visit that the nurse had a standard protocol of placing all hospice patients on morphine immediately. The Duchess said she could not agree to that until she had talked with her family, because we didn't think Mother needed it. The nurse presented various arguments for why she did, and when the Duchess didn't accept them, she terminated the conversation and left. Not okay. Mother was sitting up in bed eating her entire lunch, enjoying visits from the Duchess and my friend Deb, and having a lively conversation. She does not need morphine.

After the really horrible stress of the last few days, hospice staff held out many blandishments of how they were there to help, etc. etc. They haven't helped one bit. I would like to write an angry letter of complaint saying they've subjected us to more stress and anxiety than ever. They've told us one thing and then tried to do something else, and we've only been acquainted with them for a couple of days! They're already screwing up! However, I'm holding off until the Duchess has a chance to speak to some of the staff and see if they can alleviate our concerns. If they can't, then hospice will simply not be a solution, and we'll have to start over, while fighting the pressure from long-term care to get Mother into hospice. This certainly does nothing for anyone's peace of mind.

I've done nothing today to recover from the weekend. I'm so agitated I hardly know what to do with myself. I must make a better plan tomorrow.