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SnowyEgret of Shadow
Oct. 29th, 2019 10:04 pmI woke up between 4 and 5 am and eventually gave up and went downstairs. I suppose it was a combination of physical and mental discomfort, as usual. When I looked at my laptop, I had to laugh because I had an email from a friend who had also been awake just a short time earlier. It seems to be some kind of covert epidemic of sleeplessness going on with the people I know. It would have been so easy for me to fall into the usual death spiral of feeling like crap, getting depressed about it, and worrying about things that haven't happened yet. But I am very determined not to have any more bad days, regardless of how many hours of sleep I (don't) get. It came to my attention recently that I'll be damn lucky if I make it through another 10,000 days. The count is likely to be less than that in reality, even though the financial guy was impressed by my parents' longevity and said I was likely to make it to year 100. When the number of days you have left falls below five digits, it is sobering. I don't want to waste ANY of them. Of course, this might have occurred to me a long time ago, but . . . sigh. Often one doesn't take things seriously until it's rather late in the game. I used to believe my resources were infinite.
It probably would make my readers laugh if they were awake in the pre-dawn hours to see the shenanigans I have to go through just to avoid being depressed. I read my book about brain function, which is encouraging me to avoid the biochemical loops that foster habits I don't want. I memorized a poem. I did a bunch of stretching exercises and took Advil to try to make my joints stop hurting. I looked at the weather news and was happy that I was having more rain instead of 95 mph Santa Ana winds full of fiery hell. When the Sparrowhawk came down, he made me a nice cup of tea, and we discussed and decided on a birthday present for the Philosopher's Lovely Friend. Then I took a nap. Hey, it beats a poke in the eye with a sharp stick.
On Sunday at church, I saw a congregation member who lives near us. I asked how she was doing, and she admitted to being down in the dumps. It's coming up on the fifth anniversary of her husband's death, and she says she doesn't understand why she's still so sad. Oh honey. We chatted a bit, and I thought how dumb it is that she is practically in my neighborhood, but we never see each other. I blame it on the disruptions of the past year. However, now is now. I was thinking about this as I went out and raked leaves for an hour, post-nap. When the Sparrowhawk brought up the question of what to have for dinner, I suggested we eat at the Asian buffet near the movie theater, and see "Abominable." It's an animated movie starring a yeti and a little girl who plays the violin, and I thought it might be fun. I still needed some cheering up. And then it occurred to me that my neighbor might like to go, so I called her on the spur of the moment, and she met us for dinner and a movie. She kept saying "you made my day," so I guess she liked it. I asked the Sparrowhawk afterwards if he was bored. He got tears in his eyes, and said "Are you kidding? I loved it!" Mission accomplished. It is a fun movie. It has the usual tropes of body humor and spunky kids being pursued by bad guys, but also some moments of real magic. It's set in China, and the landscapes are beautiful.
It probably would make my readers laugh if they were awake in the pre-dawn hours to see the shenanigans I have to go through just to avoid being depressed. I read my book about brain function, which is encouraging me to avoid the biochemical loops that foster habits I don't want. I memorized a poem. I did a bunch of stretching exercises and took Advil to try to make my joints stop hurting. I looked at the weather news and was happy that I was having more rain instead of 95 mph Santa Ana winds full of fiery hell. When the Sparrowhawk came down, he made me a nice cup of tea, and we discussed and decided on a birthday present for the Philosopher's Lovely Friend. Then I took a nap. Hey, it beats a poke in the eye with a sharp stick.
On Sunday at church, I saw a congregation member who lives near us. I asked how she was doing, and she admitted to being down in the dumps. It's coming up on the fifth anniversary of her husband's death, and she says she doesn't understand why she's still so sad. Oh honey. We chatted a bit, and I thought how dumb it is that she is practically in my neighborhood, but we never see each other. I blame it on the disruptions of the past year. However, now is now. I was thinking about this as I went out and raked leaves for an hour, post-nap. When the Sparrowhawk brought up the question of what to have for dinner, I suggested we eat at the Asian buffet near the movie theater, and see "Abominable." It's an animated movie starring a yeti and a little girl who plays the violin, and I thought it might be fun. I still needed some cheering up. And then it occurred to me that my neighbor might like to go, so I called her on the spur of the moment, and she met us for dinner and a movie. She kept saying "you made my day," so I guess she liked it. I asked the Sparrowhawk afterwards if he was bored. He got tears in his eyes, and said "Are you kidding? I loved it!" Mission accomplished. It is a fun movie. It has the usual tropes of body humor and spunky kids being pursued by bad guys, but also some moments of real magic. It's set in China, and the landscapes are beautiful.
