Feb. 19th, 2020

What a beautiful day it was--blue sky, cold but sunny. I don't care how cold it is if it's not grey and snowing. Too bad I had to spend the day driving. I didn't really have to, I just wanted to. The Sparrowhawk had to go to his final post-experiment checkup, and I wasn't about to let him go alone. I extricated him from that place once already! Also, his knee has been really bothering him since he did something to it at the gym. I didn't think it would be very comfortable for him to drive for two hours each way with a bad knee. The actual checkup took less than an hour, and then we were on our way home again and got back around four, nice and early. At that point, I was strangely exhausted. The Sparrowhawk kindly went out and got us some cheeseburgers.

I'm not feeling right today--possibly because I slept badly, with the kind of dreams that, while they aren't nightmares, make you glad you don't actually live there when you wake up. My asthma has been bothering me a lot this week. I've had to use my inhaler almost every day, which is quite unusual. On this trip, we drive past the exit I always took to go down and see my father and mother. It's hard for me to pass it. I feel such a tug to go that way, as if I could drive through time into the past, even though I know that's not true and I will not find them or their little house again on any road. I don't have to do anything tomorrow, and it will still be sunny, so I'm looking forward to that.

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