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RedRooster of Zenith
Jun. 7th, 2020 10:42 pmI want one of those enamel pins like the ones made by Wm Spear Inc., in the shape of a murder hornet, to remember this year by. But then I would have to get a phalanx of bee pins for my other lapel, to oppose the hornet.
The weather has been beautiful. I haven't been sleeping well. Once I dreamed I'd died and been sent to Hell to be afflicted with some dire disease, like in Dante. However--probably thanks to watching "House" recently--I examined my symptoms and started to suspect that the whole thing was an illusion. So if I could wake up to the illusion, I could get out of Hell, since I wasn't really there to begin with.
We spent all of Friday getting ready to entertain a couple of friends in our back yard. It sounds so simple--a bottle of wine and some lawn chairs. However, the grass had to be mowed, and my self-respect demanded some weeding and trimming, and then I thought they might want to use the bathroom, so the indispensable Sparrowhawk cleaned up the mud room so they could walk though it to the bathroom. I can't believe how splendid the mud room is now. Hardly any mud at all! Then it occurred to me that if people bring a bottle of wine, and drink it, they will probably need something else to put in their stomachs, so I made some cheese and crackers, smoked fish, and cucumber sandwiches. I made two separate plates so we wouldn't infect each other by reaching into the snacks. We put it all out on the table in the yard, under our very splendid new sun umbrella, and had a nice, responsibly distant visit. But it was still weird and felt very stressful to me. Also, these are getting-to-know-you kind of friends, not the relaxing old kind. I felt discouraged afterward because I felt that I probably don't even want to go out ever again, even after I'm theoretically allowed to.
I got an antibody test to see if I'd had covid-19, but it came back negative. Too bad. All I got out of it was a wasted morning running around to find a lab that was open, plus a giant bruise on my arm where they stuck me a couple of times looking for a vein.
We have lots of toads in our yard this year, and I love to encounter them. I try to keep things watered so they can find a nice damp place. I found out they will climb a wire mesh fence! One of them tried again and again, each time falling to the ground to start over. Maybe she succeeded when I wasn't watching. One day I was sitting under the shade of the umbrella, deep in thought, when I noticed a darling baby squirrel sitting on a large rock right next to me, looking at me. I was holding so still, I suppose he thought I wasn't dangerous. I think he was hoping that where there was a human, there might be crumbs of food. But alas, I had eaten the whole cookie by then. I went in the house and got a handful of nuts, and put them on the big rock. He didn't come back while I was there, but the next morning, the nuts were gone.
I started a new notebook. As always, I think when it's all pristine and new, wouldn't it be nice if THIS time I filled it up with only the most marvelous and magical things. But that just leads to never writing in it because my thoughts are too depressing. Watching "Beachfront Bargain Hunt" and wishing I were there . . . but thinking that probably most of these people bought their beach homes just in time to get smashed by a hurricane anyway. Such are the consolations of a crabby hermit.
The weather has been beautiful. I haven't been sleeping well. Once I dreamed I'd died and been sent to Hell to be afflicted with some dire disease, like in Dante. However--probably thanks to watching "House" recently--I examined my symptoms and started to suspect that the whole thing was an illusion. So if I could wake up to the illusion, I could get out of Hell, since I wasn't really there to begin with.
We spent all of Friday getting ready to entertain a couple of friends in our back yard. It sounds so simple--a bottle of wine and some lawn chairs. However, the grass had to be mowed, and my self-respect demanded some weeding and trimming, and then I thought they might want to use the bathroom, so the indispensable Sparrowhawk cleaned up the mud room so they could walk though it to the bathroom. I can't believe how splendid the mud room is now. Hardly any mud at all! Then it occurred to me that if people bring a bottle of wine, and drink it, they will probably need something else to put in their stomachs, so I made some cheese and crackers, smoked fish, and cucumber sandwiches. I made two separate plates so we wouldn't infect each other by reaching into the snacks. We put it all out on the table in the yard, under our very splendid new sun umbrella, and had a nice, responsibly distant visit. But it was still weird and felt very stressful to me. Also, these are getting-to-know-you kind of friends, not the relaxing old kind. I felt discouraged afterward because I felt that I probably don't even want to go out ever again, even after I'm theoretically allowed to.
I got an antibody test to see if I'd had covid-19, but it came back negative. Too bad. All I got out of it was a wasted morning running around to find a lab that was open, plus a giant bruise on my arm where they stuck me a couple of times looking for a vein.
We have lots of toads in our yard this year, and I love to encounter them. I try to keep things watered so they can find a nice damp place. I found out they will climb a wire mesh fence! One of them tried again and again, each time falling to the ground to start over. Maybe she succeeded when I wasn't watching. One day I was sitting under the shade of the umbrella, deep in thought, when I noticed a darling baby squirrel sitting on a large rock right next to me, looking at me. I was holding so still, I suppose he thought I wasn't dangerous. I think he was hoping that where there was a human, there might be crumbs of food. But alas, I had eaten the whole cookie by then. I went in the house and got a handful of nuts, and put them on the big rock. He didn't come back while I was there, but the next morning, the nuts were gone.
I started a new notebook. As always, I think when it's all pristine and new, wouldn't it be nice if THIS time I filled it up with only the most marvelous and magical things. But that just leads to never writing in it because my thoughts are too depressing. Watching "Beachfront Bargain Hunt" and wishing I were there . . . but thinking that probably most of these people bought their beach homes just in time to get smashed by a hurricane anyway. Such are the consolations of a crabby hermit.
