Herring of Sleet

I'm loving the sweet though deceptive spring scent of my birthday flowers. I carry them from room to room with me as I alight in different places throughout the day, so I can enjoy their presence for as long as possible. Like me, they won't last forever. Today is the last day I'll be 69. I'm having a collection of feelings about turning 70. It feels like more of a big deal than other recent birthdays. On the one hand, I feel stunned and confused about how so much time could have flown by so quickly. Part of me feels as if I'm sliding downhill out of control, with an avalanche right behind me. The other part feels as if I'm sitting under a tree going nowhere, as the stars wheel about me and sun comes up and goes down again. However, I am still here and I have work to do, so somewhere inside I am also putting one foot in front of the other . . . . I feel it is both an accomplishment and a gift to have made it this far. Plenty of people don't. I've had a chance to experience such a richness and variety of life--much more so than if I'd carried out my original plan and died young! My host has left the bottle on the table, so I'm going to keep drinking it.

The winter dark closed in again today, and snow flurried from time to time. I got my groceries ordered online. The results were even more pitiful than usual. Our shopper apologized via text for the fact that they were out of so many things today. They did have ice cream and wine, though! I ate oatmeal and later, some chicken and rice. I'm hoping I can celebrate tomorrow, even if cautiously. We had our usual Friday Zoom with Deb and the Prussian, which has become a custom none of us are sure how we lived without. Covid-time has brought a few benefits! I did not get the house tidied up to my satisfaction, so I'll just have to celebrate untidily. Ah well, I've gotten away with it for 69 years--why change now? I forced myself to edit my story--I really don't enjoy editing--and sent it off. I'm sure the editor will ignore it for weeks, but that's okay with me. At some point, he'll have to read it and pay me.

Goodbye forever from me69! Tomorrow I'll be a whole different iteration!