ismo

I had to deal with a difficult conversation today, which put me in a funk until it was over. Fortunately, the person at the other end responded graciously and kindly, so all is well. Except that the outcome is that I can't see a beloved person at Christmas, because reasons. I know that's cryptic, but I could not deal with any more people getting upset with me right now. Other people's feelings are exhausting, and there are so many of them these days! Everyone is having a lot of them--including me--and they are not those good, wonderful feels with Italian meringue and raspberries that one would like to see. Instead they are mostly the feels that resemble a Great British Bake-Off Showstopper FAIL, the kind that evoke all of Paul Hollywood's favorite words of opprobrium. Overbaked. Underproofed. Rubbery. Claggy. Soggy on the bottom.

People came with a truck and hauled away the buckthorn remnants. I felt bad because we had to pay them money to do it, and I could not help but think, "I coulda done that myself if I just had a big ol' junk truck!" But I don't have a truck, and they probably needed the money anyway, so instead I spent the day changing the sheets, doing laundry, cleaning up the tabletops and candlesticks, and picking greens to make the Advent wreaths. When I finally settled down with my tea, we lit one red candle for the first time, and put on the Christmas music. Two of the kids have received their Advent calendars in the mail and liked them. Raptor's dad reported that Raptor said "I'm so excited, I feel like an angel of the gods!" Which, of course, he IS. I'm so grateful they came here in July, because I would die if I had to spend a whole year without seeing him.