RedFox of Shadow
Nov. 13th, 2017 08:38 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ismoNow I’m recovered from my trip . . . where was I? Oh yeah, taking my mother to TJ Maxx . . . . We arrived on Friday in time to take Mother out to lunch at a restaurant she likes. She ate most of a bowl of soup, and a small portion of a large omelet, which she then had boxed, and gave the leftovers to us. She can’t hoard leftovers any more, because her little apartment has no cooking facilities. This is a feature, not a bug, necessitated by several incidents, including the time she tried to warm a frozen meal in the oven with the box still on, and the firemen came. So these days, we dutifully take the leftovers home. Sometimes we eat them, sometimes we don’t! On this occasion, the back of the car was cold enough to freeze things, so we ate the omelet when we got home, and it was still pretty tasty.
Then we sallied forth to a nearby shopping center where there’s a very good shoe store. I think Mother is too frail to go to the mall. That place nearly kills me, and I’m pretty strong! The Sparrowhawk was invaluable, because I could drop him off with my mother, and he could shepherd her to a safe location while I parked the car. When I arrived at the shoe store, he moved on to a coffee shop where he could work in peace, while I helped Mother shop. The store clerk showed her many pairs of shoes that I thought were very cute, but she definitely rejected them all. The one pair she liked were too tight, so she had to go up a size to get them. I’m worried that they might be too big, but it’s what she wanted! I think they’re great. To me they look like tomten shoes, and they make her look like a little elf in purple and grey—but I’ll never say that to her.
Somewhat to my surprise, she spotted the TJ Maxx store and said she wanted to go there to look for a coat. We made our way over there and dove into the depths of remaindered clothing purgatory. We saw a lot of coats, many of which would have made an acceptable fashion statement if a person was 25 and had a tattoo sleeve and a nose ring. But on my mother, they appeared unsuitable. There was one that might have worked, if it had buttons or any way to fasten it up the front, but it didn’t. It was more of a bathrobe. After awhile, I could see she was losing her grip, so we wended our way very slowly out of this wonderland of amazing products to meet the Sparrowhawk in the coffee shop so she could sit down while I went to get the car. I must say that just about everyone we met was amazingly sweet to her. It was good to see her treated so kindly.
There was some plan to meet with Deb and the Prussian for dinner, but the Prussian had a bad cold, so we ate in the dining room with Mother, and then sat with her in her room for awhile. She said she likes having us sit on her couch for real, because when I call her, she always imagines that I’m sitting there.
In the morning, I picked her up to go to the doctor, while the Sparrowhawk stayed behind in her apartment. We saw Dr. Wiggins, who speaks loudly and decisively in a British accent. This is good, because Mother can hear her. She asked a few good questions, and said the neck pain is probably arthritis, possibly pinching a nerve at certain angles. She ordered a neck x-ray, which we had done immediately in the same building. She also reinstated Mother’s Tylenol prescription, and made it mandatory rather than “as needed.” Thank goodness. One thing I’ve learned from the recent fuss is that Mother simply can’t handle making those decisions any more. And I hand-carried the prescription to the direct care supervisor, so I know they got it!
Again, we had hoped to go out with Deb, but Mother was clearly too tired for any more expeditions. We walked her to the dining room and kept her company while she ate. She has lost another pound, and now weighs only 110 pounds again. I helped her undress for the x-ray, and it nearly makes me cry to see how pitifully thin she is. It doesn’t bother her—she is quite vain of having a slender figure—but it’s really not good. She looks like a famine victim. We try every stratagem to get her to eat, but she is tricky about evading our plans. I brought her some cookies, and she tried to give them to the Sparrowhawk!
Deb met us in the dining room so she could visit with Mother for a bit. Then we said goodbye and left Mother to take a nap. We had lunch with Deb at the barbecue place, and sent a pulled pork sandwich home to cheer the ailing Prussian. At long last we drove home—mission accomplished. It all sounds very cheery, but alongside the pleasure of seeing my mother and being able to do some little things for her, there is the devastating sadness of not being able to fix the big things that matter. And there’s also the constant stress of watching out for her and protecting her, while moving very, very slowly, and patiently listening to her overthink and rethink everything that happens one million times. And hearing all the sad stories from her past that she ruminates about repeatedly without being able to come to a conclusion. So it was good to decompress over a fun lunch with Deb, and good to be home.
Then we sallied forth to a nearby shopping center where there’s a very good shoe store. I think Mother is too frail to go to the mall. That place nearly kills me, and I’m pretty strong! The Sparrowhawk was invaluable, because I could drop him off with my mother, and he could shepherd her to a safe location while I parked the car. When I arrived at the shoe store, he moved on to a coffee shop where he could work in peace, while I helped Mother shop. The store clerk showed her many pairs of shoes that I thought were very cute, but she definitely rejected them all. The one pair she liked were too tight, so she had to go up a size to get them. I’m worried that they might be too big, but it’s what she wanted! I think they’re great. To me they look like tomten shoes, and they make her look like a little elf in purple and grey—but I’ll never say that to her.
Somewhat to my surprise, she spotted the TJ Maxx store and said she wanted to go there to look for a coat. We made our way over there and dove into the depths of remaindered clothing purgatory. We saw a lot of coats, many of which would have made an acceptable fashion statement if a person was 25 and had a tattoo sleeve and a nose ring. But on my mother, they appeared unsuitable. There was one that might have worked, if it had buttons or any way to fasten it up the front, but it didn’t. It was more of a bathrobe. After awhile, I could see she was losing her grip, so we wended our way very slowly out of this wonderland of amazing products to meet the Sparrowhawk in the coffee shop so she could sit down while I went to get the car. I must say that just about everyone we met was amazingly sweet to her. It was good to see her treated so kindly.
There was some plan to meet with Deb and the Prussian for dinner, but the Prussian had a bad cold, so we ate in the dining room with Mother, and then sat with her in her room for awhile. She said she likes having us sit on her couch for real, because when I call her, she always imagines that I’m sitting there.
In the morning, I picked her up to go to the doctor, while the Sparrowhawk stayed behind in her apartment. We saw Dr. Wiggins, who speaks loudly and decisively in a British accent. This is good, because Mother can hear her. She asked a few good questions, and said the neck pain is probably arthritis, possibly pinching a nerve at certain angles. She ordered a neck x-ray, which we had done immediately in the same building. She also reinstated Mother’s Tylenol prescription, and made it mandatory rather than “as needed.” Thank goodness. One thing I’ve learned from the recent fuss is that Mother simply can’t handle making those decisions any more. And I hand-carried the prescription to the direct care supervisor, so I know they got it!
Again, we had hoped to go out with Deb, but Mother was clearly too tired for any more expeditions. We walked her to the dining room and kept her company while she ate. She has lost another pound, and now weighs only 110 pounds again. I helped her undress for the x-ray, and it nearly makes me cry to see how pitifully thin she is. It doesn’t bother her—she is quite vain of having a slender figure—but it’s really not good. She looks like a famine victim. We try every stratagem to get her to eat, but she is tricky about evading our plans. I brought her some cookies, and she tried to give them to the Sparrowhawk!
Deb met us in the dining room so she could visit with Mother for a bit. Then we said goodbye and left Mother to take a nap. We had lunch with Deb at the barbecue place, and sent a pulled pork sandwich home to cheer the ailing Prussian. At long last we drove home—mission accomplished. It all sounds very cheery, but alongside the pleasure of seeing my mother and being able to do some little things for her, there is the devastating sadness of not being able to fix the big things that matter. And there’s also the constant stress of watching out for her and protecting her, while moving very, very slowly, and patiently listening to her overthink and rethink everything that happens one million times. And hearing all the sad stories from her past that she ruminates about repeatedly without being able to come to a conclusion. So it was good to decompress over a fun lunch with Deb, and good to be home.
no subject
Date: 2017-11-15 03:18 am (UTC)I feel so grateful suddenly to have both of my parents still with us. I think I want to make a date with them soon.
Wishing you and your family well.