MountainGoat of Celeste
Jan. 25th, 2018 10:06 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ismoTalking to my mother continues to be quite disturbing. I must continue to call her, though, because I'm increasingly convinced that she doesn't know how to make her phone work any more. So, even when she promises to call me back, she has trouble completing the process. It grieves me very much to see her mind wandering like this. Today, she told me that when she was trying to call me back, "I kept thinking I needed to call my mother back. You got mixed up in my mind with my mother, I suppose because you are always so good." Some years ago, after my father threatened me with all kinds of mayhem because he blamed me for his Alzheimer's diagnosis, my mother wrote to me that I mustn't be angry with him, because he thought of me "as a mother figure" and needed my support. I swear it beats me how these people, who brought me into the world, BOTH decided that I'm their parent rather than the other way around. It's been this way ever since I was a little kid. It's quite a responsibility. Even though I know how inappropriate their behavior has been, my heart still bleeds for them. I wish I could have given them a better life, with real parents who were good to them. As it is, all I can do is pick up the pieces as old age and illness disintegrate their defenses.
We had a surprise visitor today. One of the Sparrowhawk's high school girlfriends was, for a time, a friend of mine when we were both in our little religious cult. She's still in it, although she's had quite a few adventures along the way. Now that we've been back in Michigan for seven years, she has taken notice of the fact that we live here, and decided to call since she was passing through. We both hope it's not because she has taken on a job as a financial manager and wants clients. It was interesting to catch up with her, though a bit strange--particularly as she couldn't stay off the topics of a) Trump is being misrepresented by the media, and b) pro-life issues. Oy. One can deflect and not get into a fight for an hour or two, but if she ever comes back, I'm not so sure.
She learned that the Sparrowhawk was retired, and suggested that I must be retired too. I said no, I'm just doing what I've always done. I know it's hard to tell with writers, but come on. She did ask how many books I'd published, but moved on to her husband's medical woes before I could tell her. If I sound bitchy, it's only because I AM. . . . In my work life (HELLO NOT RETIRED) I'm struggling to write a synopsis for Angel Bait. It's the part I hate the most. I resent having to do it. I feel that if someone wants to know what I wrote, they should goddam well just READ THE DAMN BOOK. Why is my job to spoon feed them? I guess there must be writers who like to synopsize their work, and are good at it, but I'm not one of them.
In non-bitchy news, we finally started watching The Crown, and are struggling not to binge. I wish Elizabeth would pull herself together and stop taking so much advice. You're the Queen! Do what you want! Be an example for the rest of us.
We had a surprise visitor today. One of the Sparrowhawk's high school girlfriends was, for a time, a friend of mine when we were both in our little religious cult. She's still in it, although she's had quite a few adventures along the way. Now that we've been back in Michigan for seven years, she has taken notice of the fact that we live here, and decided to call since she was passing through. We both hope it's not because she has taken on a job as a financial manager and wants clients. It was interesting to catch up with her, though a bit strange--particularly as she couldn't stay off the topics of a) Trump is being misrepresented by the media, and b) pro-life issues. Oy. One can deflect and not get into a fight for an hour or two, but if she ever comes back, I'm not so sure.
She learned that the Sparrowhawk was retired, and suggested that I must be retired too. I said no, I'm just doing what I've always done. I know it's hard to tell with writers, but come on. She did ask how many books I'd published, but moved on to her husband's medical woes before I could tell her. If I sound bitchy, it's only because I AM. . . . In my work life (HELLO NOT RETIRED) I'm struggling to write a synopsis for Angel Bait. It's the part I hate the most. I resent having to do it. I feel that if someone wants to know what I wrote, they should goddam well just READ THE DAMN BOOK. Why is my job to spoon feed them? I guess there must be writers who like to synopsize their work, and are good at it, but I'm not one of them.
In non-bitchy news, we finally started watching The Crown, and are struggling not to binge. I wish Elizabeth would pull herself together and stop taking so much advice. You're the Queen! Do what you want! Be an example for the rest of us.
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Date: 2018-01-26 01:56 pm (UTC)Last night, I got to hold in my hands a copy of John's ARC for Half Witch. Very satisfying!