ismo

Today I really didn't do anything, so there is nothing to report. It was necessary, but I can't say I feel great about it. I feel a dark and looming anxiety as the sun comes and goes, the sky clouds over, and still I haven't done anything at all with another one of my precious days. I finished the last chapter of a book I'm reading for the Zoom book club, but I felt it was twaddle, so that gave me no satisfaction. We watched church on TV, and I'm afraid there was a lot of twaddle there too. It's a bad day when I yell "Oh, COME ON" at the priest more than three times. Which, of course, I never do when I'm in real church. We sat outside in the back yard for awhile. The birds were singing sweetly as maple blossoms showered down on us. The absence of noise from the work crews next door was pleasant. The Sparrowhawk kindly made stir fry for us. I fell asleep waiting for it. A gentle rain has swept over the city. Let's hope I sleep tonight when I'm supposed to, and have a more useful day tomorrow.

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From:

elbales

Sometimes I feel like my days are an endless progression of "what even was that?" I Do Things all day, every day, but at the end of the day I look at what remains to be done and realize that I didn't prioritize well and the most important tasks are still out there. Staring at me. Holding up signs that say "Loser" and "It's time to panic."

I hate my anxiety.