Lopseed of Bloom
Jun. 9th, 2018 08:18 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ismoNot the best day. It rained all night, which was kind of soothing, although I could only sleep for 5 hours. Rain kept me from doing some yardwork I wanted to do today. I also had plenty of things to keep me busy in the house, but before I could get started, I had more upsetting email from my family. And then I had a phone call from Mr. Science about Mother's current situation, in which it transpired that the Duchess had completely misunderstood my last email to her. She had interpreted it to mean that I was saying I would not help her with Mother's appointments any more. And then instead of calling me to clarify, she had called Mr. Science and was crying on the phone to him. I explained the misunderstanding, and wrote what I hope was a conciliatory email to the Duchess. I've still heard nothing from her, and I don't really expect to. This "laid waste to my day," as my father used to say of some untoward occurrence. It is a very strange thing that I actually have been paid to write things, and I fancy myself a pretty good communicator, until I try to communicate with my family. Then I apparently lose all capacity for clear speech.
All those counselors who tell people to use I-statements and be clear about their needs are completely full of BS. Because whenever I do that with my family, all hell breaks loose and chaos reigns. Seriously I am never trying this again. I have a killer headache and other signs of extreme anxiety. It's funny that the reason for the fuss is that it had occurred to me that I need to take better care of myself, and had tried to give some honest parameters about what I felt I could and couldn't do. So now I feel worse than ever. I shouldn't feel anxious. I should be able to just let it go. Sigh.
Anyway! There is a new Triple Crown winner! Huzzah! Mike Smith rode a textbook, beautiful race, and Justify is such a lovely horse. I also like it that Mike Smith is 52. It's cool that an older rider can still win. That was the good part of the day.
All those counselors who tell people to use I-statements and be clear about their needs are completely full of BS. Because whenever I do that with my family, all hell breaks loose and chaos reigns. Seriously I am never trying this again. I have a killer headache and other signs of extreme anxiety. It's funny that the reason for the fuss is that it had occurred to me that I need to take better care of myself, and had tried to give some honest parameters about what I felt I could and couldn't do. So now I feel worse than ever. I shouldn't feel anxious. I should be able to just let it go. Sigh.
Anyway! There is a new Triple Crown winner! Huzzah! Mike Smith rode a textbook, beautiful race, and Justify is such a lovely horse. I also like it that Mike Smith is 52. It's cool that an older rider can still win. That was the good part of the day.
oh honey
Date: 2018-06-10 05:32 am (UTC)maybe send up a red flag when you find the word "should" in one of your self-directed sentences?
you're doing the best you can with the information and tools you have. you are not in charge of how others respond. (often enough, they can't even hear you, because there's so much noise inside their heads.)
forgive yourself for your shocking lack of omnipotence. forgive them for their faults of projection, catastrophizing, and failure to ask for clarification.
we're all of us doing the (pitiful) best we can, and it's going to have to do.