Marmot of Leave
Oct. 12th, 2018 08:41 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ismoRadio silence partly caused by discouragement, but mostly by going to see my mother for a couple of days and being tired. I made her some cookies, because she had said that sometimes she wants a little something sweet after dinner, but doesn't want to eat a lot of food. We got up early and arrived in time to have lunch with her. The food was uninspiring, so I can't blame her too much for not wanting to eat it, alas. It's not terrible, and I'm sure it is nutritious and digestible, but it just lacks any kind of spark. Home cooking it isn't. Many of the residents have lost most of their sense of taste, but my mother is still picky. She says disdainfully that "some of these people just live on ice cream." I'd probably do the same! After lunch, we sat in the courtyard for awhile. The weather was unseasonably warm, and the flowers were beautiful, and the butterfly bush was full of butterflies.
I took her to see her PCP, while the Sparrowhawk stayed at her residence to try to "fix" her DVD player so she could use it again, after screwing it up somehow or other, and to have a phone call with one of his former staff who needed advice. We had a long list of questions and concerns for the doctor, who was very patient and helpful. The trees along the road were tinged with bright color. By the time we got back to her place, it was after 4, and she was tired, so we got her settled, turned the new instructions from the doctor over to the care supervisor, and drove over to Deb's house for a lovely visit with Deb and the Prussian. She made us lamb curry and put us up in her pretty and comfortable guest room. I slept badly, but not because of the accommodations. It was because my joints were hurting a lot after driving all day.
We had breakfast and more visiting in the morning, and then drove back to my mother's place. I wanted to stay over so we could spend a little time with her outside the medical milieu! Every time I go down there, I want to take her out for a drive in the country, or at least a trip to a new lunch place. But in the night, the wind had been howling, bringing in cold air and rain. The pleasant sunshine was gone, and the wind was still too strong for her to enjoy going more than a few steps outdoors. When we arrived, she had just come out of the hair salon with a trim, and was having some PT, so we waited for her, and then went to lunch in the dining room again. Even more boring food this time, alas. And it took approximately one million years for her to chase a half serving of beef and noodles around her plate till it was stone cold. After that, she put a sweater on, and we went out into the cutting garden and gathered a big bouquet of the most beautiful flowers--dahlias, zinnias, and a few fragile roses in all colors. We put them in water and arranged them on top of her storage chest. And then we had to leave. I always hate that so much . . . even though I was exhausted and would go absolutely crazy if I had to stay much longer.
I had hoped that we'd leave early enough to avoid the worst traffic, but it was bad enough. Long strings of crazy people trying to get ahead of each other. Meh. The Sparrowhawk amused me by reading bits of a terrifically melodramatic novel he'd heisted from the ignored shelves of the conference room where we waited for my mother: The Cardinal, by Henry Morton Robinson. Oh boy! There are some great lines to relish in that one. Much as I love to spend time with Deb, I was soooo glad to be home in my own bed.
This morning, we had a 9 o'clock appointment downtown in one of the buildings of the Sparrowhawk's former employer to see the financial adviser, just to make sure everything is in order for the end of the year, when the Sparrowhawk's severance pay ends and we go on Social Security and pension funds. There's nothing wrong--we should have enough to live on, and we will be better off than most. But it's just depressing and stressful to be there. I almost wore my black t-shirt that says "YOU DON'T KNOW ME: Federal Witness Protection Agency." But I decided to go with "inconspicuous and respectable" rather than DEFIANT AND BITTER.
My mother has started torturing me about the Sparrowhawk's Parkinson's. I knew she would do this, so I had asked my siblings not to rat me out and tell her that he had it. Mr. Science couldn't resist telling her, however, so now she's obsessing about it. "Oh, it's so terrible. Do you take medication for it? Don't you need to sit down? Does it hurt? Oh . . . well, it doesn't seem to have affected your mind." The Sparrowhawk is patiently tolerant--says he's been around my family for a long time, so he can deal with it. Then she starts in on me. "Isn't it terrible for this to happen just when he was free from work and could have done something!" Arghhhh. I maintain a stout facade of good cheer, which is my SOP for dealing with my mother. I think this baffles her and makes her needle me all the more in hopes of getting some show of emotion out of me, but it ain't going to happen. I'm wise to these tricks. This morning I think he got up too early, so he wasn't walking very well, but later, we went for a walk up to the woodsy path, and he limbered up and was much better. My mother's nagging is a blessing in disguise, because it makes me more determined than ever that, to the extent it is in my power, he's going to have the best life EVAR.
I took her to see her PCP, while the Sparrowhawk stayed at her residence to try to "fix" her DVD player so she could use it again, after screwing it up somehow or other, and to have a phone call with one of his former staff who needed advice. We had a long list of questions and concerns for the doctor, who was very patient and helpful. The trees along the road were tinged with bright color. By the time we got back to her place, it was after 4, and she was tired, so we got her settled, turned the new instructions from the doctor over to the care supervisor, and drove over to Deb's house for a lovely visit with Deb and the Prussian. She made us lamb curry and put us up in her pretty and comfortable guest room. I slept badly, but not because of the accommodations. It was because my joints were hurting a lot after driving all day.
We had breakfast and more visiting in the morning, and then drove back to my mother's place. I wanted to stay over so we could spend a little time with her outside the medical milieu! Every time I go down there, I want to take her out for a drive in the country, or at least a trip to a new lunch place. But in the night, the wind had been howling, bringing in cold air and rain. The pleasant sunshine was gone, and the wind was still too strong for her to enjoy going more than a few steps outdoors. When we arrived, she had just come out of the hair salon with a trim, and was having some PT, so we waited for her, and then went to lunch in the dining room again. Even more boring food this time, alas. And it took approximately one million years for her to chase a half serving of beef and noodles around her plate till it was stone cold. After that, she put a sweater on, and we went out into the cutting garden and gathered a big bouquet of the most beautiful flowers--dahlias, zinnias, and a few fragile roses in all colors. We put them in water and arranged them on top of her storage chest. And then we had to leave. I always hate that so much . . . even though I was exhausted and would go absolutely crazy if I had to stay much longer.
I had hoped that we'd leave early enough to avoid the worst traffic, but it was bad enough. Long strings of crazy people trying to get ahead of each other. Meh. The Sparrowhawk amused me by reading bits of a terrifically melodramatic novel he'd heisted from the ignored shelves of the conference room where we waited for my mother: The Cardinal, by Henry Morton Robinson. Oh boy! There are some great lines to relish in that one. Much as I love to spend time with Deb, I was soooo glad to be home in my own bed.
This morning, we had a 9 o'clock appointment downtown in one of the buildings of the Sparrowhawk's former employer to see the financial adviser, just to make sure everything is in order for the end of the year, when the Sparrowhawk's severance pay ends and we go on Social Security and pension funds. There's nothing wrong--we should have enough to live on, and we will be better off than most. But it's just depressing and stressful to be there. I almost wore my black t-shirt that says "YOU DON'T KNOW ME: Federal Witness Protection Agency." But I decided to go with "inconspicuous and respectable" rather than DEFIANT AND BITTER.
My mother has started torturing me about the Sparrowhawk's Parkinson's. I knew she would do this, so I had asked my siblings not to rat me out and tell her that he had it. Mr. Science couldn't resist telling her, however, so now she's obsessing about it. "Oh, it's so terrible. Do you take medication for it? Don't you need to sit down? Does it hurt? Oh . . . well, it doesn't seem to have affected your mind." The Sparrowhawk is patiently tolerant--says he's been around my family for a long time, so he can deal with it. Then she starts in on me. "Isn't it terrible for this to happen just when he was free from work and could have done something!" Arghhhh. I maintain a stout facade of good cheer, which is my SOP for dealing with my mother. I think this baffles her and makes her needle me all the more in hopes of getting some show of emotion out of me, but it ain't going to happen. I'm wise to these tricks. This morning I think he got up too early, so he wasn't walking very well, but later, we went for a walk up to the woodsy path, and he limbered up and was much better. My mother's nagging is a blessing in disguise, because it makes me more determined than ever that, to the extent it is in my power, he's going to have the best life EVAR.
no subject
Date: 2018-10-13 06:21 pm (UTC)No, wait, it's not. I'm so touched by your determination to make things better for your family. May you and the Sparrowhawk have many good days together.
no subject
Date: 2018-10-14 02:45 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-10-13 10:13 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-10-14 02:46 am (UTC)